What No One Told You About Menopause (Spoiler Alert: You’re Not Going Crazy)
For most women, menopause doesn’t begin with a clear moment in time. It creeps in quietly over time, with a few nights of restless sleep, a hot flash during a meeting, a sudden wave of irritability that feels confusing. Symptoms come on slowly, sporadically. You don’t feel like yourself anymore. You might find yourself asking, What’s happening to me?
Menopause is a natural, powerful transition in a woman’s life, but it’s one that far too often leaves her feeling isolated, unprepared, or even ashamed. In our society, puberty and pregnancy get discussed frequently, yet the conversation around menopause is still only whispered about or dismissed altogether. It’s time to change the narrative.
Let’s talk openly about what’s going on in your body, why it feels so disorienting, and how you can navigate this chapter with understanding and support.
What’s Really Happening During Menopause
Menopause officially marks the end of your menstrual cycles and is defined as twelve consecutive months without a period. But it’s the years leading up to menopause, called perimenopause, that are often where the real changes occur.
During perimenopause, your estrogen and progesterone levels fluctuate unpredictably. These hormonal shifts can affect not only your physical health but also your mental health, with effects including temperature regulation issues, trouble with sleep, mood swings, focus problems, and even issues in relationships.
Common menopause symptoms include:
Hot flashes and night sweats
Sleep difficulties
Mood swings, anxiety, or low mood
Vaginal dryness or discomfort
Changes in libido
Joint and muscle aches and pains
Brain fog or memory lapses
Fatigue
Weight changes
If that list feels overwhelming to you, you’re not alone. The range of symptoms is broad, and they can fluctuate unpredictably. Many women describe it as feeling “off”, like they are still themselves, but not quite.
You may find yourself wondering, How long does perimenopause last? The truth is that it varies widely from woman to woman. Reports on the length of perimenopause show a variation of a few months up to ten years.
You’re Not Overreacting
One of the most frustrating parts of menopause is how often women are told to “just deal with it.” You might hear comments like, “It’s just part of getting older,” or “Everyone goes through it.” It’s invalidating and exhausting to listen to these repeated messages.
Minimizing the experience doesn’t make it easier for women; it just makes it lonelier. We need to take women’s feelings and experiences seriously.
Your body is undergoing major biological changes that can affect your energy, emotions, and even your sense of identity. Feeling irritable, tearful, or anxious doesn’t make you weak: It makes you human.
There is a huge psychological component that often goes unacknowledged: Menopause can bring up feelings of grief for the person you used to be, for your younger body, your fertility, and your sense of control. But it can also open the door to something new: clarity about what really matters to you now.
The Mind-Body Connection
We often separate the physical symptoms of menopause from the emotional ones, but they’re deeply intertwined.
When your hormones fluctuate, your brain chemistry does, too. Estrogen influences serotonin and dopamine, the neurotransmitters that regulate mood and motivation. So if you’re feeling anxious, depressed, or unusually reactive, it’s not “all in your head.” It’s your body asking for care and understanding.
Therapy can help you make sense of these changes, process the emotions that come with them, and develop tools for coping, especially if you’re also juggling stress, relationships, career shifts, or caregiving responsibilities. You don’t have to do this alone.
Supporting Yourself Through the Transition
Here are a few ideas on how to support yourself during this time:
Prioritize rest and nourishment. Sleep disturbances are common in perimenopause and menopause, so create routines that support winding down, such as limiting screen time at night, keeping your room cool, and avoiding caffeine late in the day. Feed your body healthy, whole foods and prioritize your hydration, to help support your body from the inside out.
Move your body in ways that feel good. Exercise can improve sleep, stabilize mood, and strengthen bones. This doesn’t have to mean high-intensity exercise. It can be walking, yoga, or dancing. Any movement above your typical activity level counts here.
Stay connected to others. Menopause can feel isolating. Talk openly with friends or join a support group for women in midlife. Shared experiences ease shame and build perspective and connection.
Talk to your healthcare provider. There are many evidence-based treatments for perimenopause and menopause, from hormone therapy to lifestyle adjustments, that can make a real difference. You don’t have to “tough it out.”
Seek support through therapy. Working with a therapist can help you process identity changes, manage mood swings, and feel grounded again. You deserve to feel more like yourself and less lost in the shuffle of symptoms you’re experiencing.
A New Beginning
Menopause isn’t just the end of a time in your life: It’s also the beginning of a new, wonderful phase of your life. Many women describe feeling more confident, self-assured, and free after they emerge from it. Your priorities may shift, your body may change, but your worth and vitality remain.
If you’re struggling to make peace with these transitions or to find balance in your daily life, therapy can help. Together, we can untangle the emotional and physical layers of menopause so you can move forward with clarity and calm.
You Don’t Have to Go Through This Alone
If you’re ready to feel supported through this life transition, Nona Women’s Wellness and Therapy offers compassionate, evidence-based therapy for women navigating menopause and midlife changes.
Schedule a free consultation today to take the first step toward feeling grounded, supported, and whole again. We look forward to helping you.
Sources-
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/21841-menopause - “Menopause”
https://www.maturitas.org/article/S0378-5122(16)30284-5/abstract - “The trajectory of negative mood and depressive symptoms over two decades”
https://medlineplus.gov/menopause.html - “Menopause”
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK507826/ - “Menopause”
